Warrior


I’ve posted a few things lately on Instagram and Facebook about working out and eating better, which is not typical of me. At all. I’m mostly a pizza, beer, and Netflix kind of gal with daydreams of adventurous, athletic grandeur. But some friends have asked, why the sudden surge of determination. It’s actually not that sudden at all. I didn’t just wake up the other day and decide I’m going to lose 80 lbs and become a warrior beast. I’m speaking up now, but this battle was waged long ago. It all started around about 5th grade when I took my first diet pill after a Nutcracker rehearsal(a story for another time). I’ve hated my body for as long as I can remember, waged war on it since childhood. Ate my pain away. Tragic really. I’ve hated myself for most of that time too, if I’m honest.

 

Sometimes though, in the middle of hate, you have a moment, or a collection of moments that pile up on each other until they can’t be ignored and something just clicks. Finally. A decision to take real action becomes imperative and you realize just how precious your own life is. You realize daydreams aren’t going to cut it any longer. You start believing what those certain persistent people in your life have been telling you all along…You are loved. You matter. You’re stronger than you realize. You are a warrior.

 

And slowly and then all at once you start making choices that reflect that love; love for yourself, love for the people around you, love for your future husband and children, love for the purpose you’ve been set on this planet to accomplish. Belief becomes action.

 

And when this click occurs, after years of sabotage against yourself, after years of failed attempts, after years of believing ALL the lies, suddenly beast mode really does kick in(because maybe it was inside you all along, waiting for its moment) and stepping on the treadmill when you’d really rather crash on the couch, or eating veggies instead of that large pizza, suddenly those healthy choices start winning your attention more and more. Because what you truly desire becomes more important than merely coping and surviving . Thriving, strength, health becomes the mission.

 

I don’t know. I’m not an expert on anything at all really. I’m just a warrior in the trenches like most everybody else. I just felt like I needed to say all this because one of you out there might need to hear it today, because maybe you’re in the middle of a hate battle too.

So to you, Friend, I say … Fight! Fight for yourself, for your future. Please fight and believe, you are loved. You matter. Do not settle. You are more than the pain you are trying to survive. You are more than ALL the failures before this moment and after. The people around you, this planet, your future needs you. So let go of whatever is keeping you from loving yourself, even when that is the hardest thing in the world to do, get up every day and choose loving yourself. Choose adventure. Choose to chase the daydreams, instead of letting them die on a couch. Let go every day if you have to until it clicks, until you believe, until that belief finally becomes action.

You are loved, Warrior. You matter. Take courage. Do the hard thing. And above all else just keeping fighting, even when the couch and the pizza win for a day. I’m here, in the trenches, fighting with you, cheering you on.

You’ve got this.